Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Edition

We can talk about the war in Iraq, the S Chip, Larry Craig or how I hate the President.
Tonight’s topic. Is the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame Buuuuulshit.

Are the wrong bands in the HoF. Are there bands in there who don’t deserve to be in there. Are there bands who deserve to be in there who aren’t in. Who deserves to be in there.

How did this start, I  saw the ballot. I have the ballot here of the 2008 nominees for the foundation:
Afrika Bambaataa
Beastie Boys
Leonard Cohen
Dave Clark Five
John Mellencamp
Donna Summer
The Ventures

What’s wrong with that list? Half aren’t rock and roll at all.
Leonard Cohen? Donna Summer? She isn’t rock. I’ve got a lot of problems with the Hall of Fame and we’re going to get to some of them. I have a big list of people who should be in, but ain’t. And I’ve got a big list of people who shouldn’t be in, but are.
Also why is the Hall of Fame in Cleveland? It is a fine town, but it has nothing to do with the beginning of Rock and Roll. Know what does? Memphis TN. 9 out of 10 early rock n rollers live within a 100 miles of Memphis.
Sam Phillips, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry in St Louis. I know Memphis fucked up. They did it on their own. Cleveland got it because they got the money together. But Memphis should get the Hall of Fame.

Should there even be a Rock Hall of fame? Isn’t the concept of a museum sort of un-Rock and Roll. Rock is an extremely specific thing. It isn’t pop, it isn’t disco. Rock isn’t folk music. The Mamas and the Papas are in the HoF. Joni Mitchell and the fucking Bee Gees. James Taylor. This is a travesty. There are plenty of bands who aren’t rock and roll.

When you hear Elvis singing Mystery Train. That’s rock. When he does Hound Dog, that’s rock. When Jerry Lee Lewis does, Jerry was fucking his 13-year old cousin. THAT is rock and roll. When Johnny Cash says “I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die” that’s rock.

The Bee Gee’s they can suck my hairy dick. When Little Richard goes “Whap babaloo bop a whap bam boom” That’s the sound of freedom. That’s the sound of anarchy. That’s the sound of teenagers screwing in the back of a car. Not the good teenagers, but the guy with the leather jacket rebelling against something. She’s with him because he is the bad boy.

When you hear rock, you know it is rock. It isn’t safe, it isn’t a museum or established. It is a fuck you to the establishment, the man keeping you down.

You’re selling Fuck you and I don’t give a shit. It isn’t Dusty Springfield or Fleetwood Mac. I love Bonnie Raitt, but she’s not rock and roll. Steely Dan. They people aren’t rock and roll.

When Bob Dylan leans into one on Highway 61, that’s rock and roll. The Sex Pistols and The Clash are rock and roll. Bruce Springsteen doing Cadillac Ranch. Creedence Clearwater Revival doing Fortunate Son. The Replacements, Nirvana, Jason and the Scorchers. This is the true sound of a nut job.

When they say Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, what they mean is Pop Hall of Fame. Now you could have a sub-division where you have pop music and people like Elton John, Paul Simon or Billy Joel. They aren’t rock and rollers, they’re pop musicians. They have more in common with Ira Gershwin and Irving Berlin than Hank Williams and Chuck Berry.

Why do I say this? I love this. I grew up in Danville VA. I thought I’d have to work in the cotton mill until I discovered Rock and Roll. Rock saved my soul.

Here are some of the bands that AREN’T in the Hall of Fame
Alice Cooper, The Faces, J Geils.
If the Animals are in, the Animals are definitely 2nd tier to the Beatles and Stones. If you’re going to put the Animals in, then you need to put the Dave Clark Five in, you need to put in Steve Miller, J Geils, Kiss, Mitch Rider, the New York Dolls, the Replacements, Tom Waits, War, Metallica.

Friends, the Hall of Fame is Bullshit.

People are upset Kiss isn’t in, why? Because they are a spectacle that is a fuck you to the parents. That’s what rap is.

Call 866-4-RAWDOG

Now a lot of people are in there who are really just one or two song artists.
Name the 3rd or 4th song from Del Shannon
Patti Smith. I love her, but I don’t think she deserves to be in. I don’t think you should be in unless someone can instantly name 5 great songs by you and in a minute 10 great songs.
Percy Sledge is in. Name the OTHER Percy Sledge song.
Solomon Burke, Richie Valens, Gene Pitney – he wrote some good songs, but they aren’t rock. He’s a glorified lounge singer. I love him but he shouldn’t be there. Who should be there? Big giant enormous artists. Every year 5 people get in. That’s way too many. It should be whoever deserves to get in.

Of the list here, Madonna is a pop artists. She’ll be playing Vegas soon.
I’d put in John Cougar and the Beastie Boys. Even though the Beasties did a lot of rap. Especially the first album has a lot of rock attitude on it.
Afrika Bambaataa should be in the hip-hop hall of fame or the rap hall of fame.
Chic don’t know where they should be.
Leonard Cohen – he should be in the songwriter who can’t sing hall of fame
Dave Clark Five is a tertiary band. If we’re going to go Beatles, Stones. Animals, Hollies. Dave Clark 5 is one below that. They shouldn’t get in.

Donna Summers? She was a disco artist. Disco sucked. Sucked then and now. Machines aren’t music. You can program drum machines and keyboards and it sounds good for 5 minutes but it isn’t the same as artists. Ron Wood is in the old Rod Stewart and the Faces playing drunk. That’s Rock. J Geils, Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper was scaring how to scare the shit out of your parents.

Plus there is all you metal and progressive bands. Rush, Genesis, King Crimson, Yes, Deep Purple, Jethro Tull. They’re all froze out.

I wrote a song we’ll play at the end of the show. “Rock and Roll Hall of Lame”.

Rick in VA
R – I’m almost rank and file with everything you said. Remember back in the late 60’s they had those award shows for music. You never heard any Beatles or Stones.
M – yea, when they had the Emmy’s and Grammy’s. They never won anything
R – you had all this dogshit coming across, and they just didn’t get it. By the time they did, it was too late. I’m taking a piss in my backyard as we speak.
M – are you on something, are you high
R – yes. No one could listen to Mojo straight. You said you read the Family by Ed Sanders, you’ve got to get Truck Stop on the Radio
M – Rick I saw your email the other day and I was thinking about records we should add to Outlaw Country. Ed Sanders from the Fug wrote a book about Charles Manson called the Family and it scared the living shit out of me and what’s the album he has.
R – It’s called “Truck Stop”. It’s out of print, and if you can’t get one, I’ll send you a copy. It’s hippies and rednecks its cool.
M – What did you want to say about the Hall of Fame
R – it’s bullshit. By the time it catches up, you and I will be dead
M – explain to me what’s rock and roll about the mamas and the papas.
R – Not a thing.
M - Joni Mitchell is a great song writer and she has like one rock song, “Raised on Robbery”  a song I’d play in college for girls when I was trying to get laid. [ed – don’t forget the Woodstock song] The Bee Gee’s . They came out as Beatles imitators. Then became disco. They should be castrated. Gonna take a break.

Who is in charge? I tried to get Warren Zanes. I used to to play with him back in the day and he was in the del Fuegos. Warren’s been working at the Hall of Fame for the last three years. He’s just about to leave, but they didn’t want him coming on cause he wouldn’t toe the party line.
Dave Marsh has something to do with the Hall of Fame as does Jann Wenner from Rolling Stone. Tried to get Dave Marsh a writer, tried to get him here, but he was busy talking to Springsteen.  Is it very rock and roll to have a stoic serious museum. Isn’t rock the anti-that. Rock will never die. It isn’t a specific music, it is an attitude


John in Philly
John – why isn’t Tom Waits in the Hall of Fame.
M – I don’t know. I’ve watching the Wire and they play that Tom Waits song. They could have a category of bands that launch a thousand bands.
J – you put his stuff in the 80’s against Duran Duran
M – Duran Duran is the sound of a cash machine stuck in the devil’s dick. I hate bad music. There’s two kinds of music. Good music and bad music. I think Duke Ellington said that, and I stole it from him. I hate Bon Jovi. That guy who joined Journey and turned them into REO Speedwagon, Steve Perry, that guy and Bon Jovi should be sent to Mars tomorrow.
J – I also got a copy of that movie Buttcrack
M – that isn’t going to win any academy awards. That could be the worst movie in the world
J – yes it is.
M – that was a movie that was a horror film. Think Mojo in a bad horror film might be funny.  That maybe it is so bad it is good. But no. It isn’t. Mojo got paid, but don’t buy it unless you have to.

John in Detroit.
John – this heat coming off my house from being so pissed off about the hall of fame could heat the whole neighborhood.
M – is Ted Nugent in there?
J – The Amboy Dukes aren’t in there. I see REM. I don’t see Mitch Rider and the Detroit Wheels, I don’t see Alice Cooper. No who was in a band before 1975 should be in there.
M – Where’s MC5. That’s a band that launched a thousand bands. Where’s Iggy and the Stooges. Same thing.
J – none of them are in there. I went there, I didn’t get 20 feet in there and I left. I said to the lady behind the counter that it was the biggest rip-off. I got free tickets to go, thank god I didn’t have to pay. I said REM is in there. They may be a good band to some people, but they don’t belong  in the Hall of Fame yet.
M – when it first started. I have a big list here. In 86 they had a big backlog and could put in 8 or 9 every year. Now they are saying they need to put in 5 every year. There aren’t 5 to put in every year. On this list there are only two who deserve to go in. Every year it will get thinner. 5 years from now there won’t be anyone.
J – I hope for the sake of the Rock and Roll name on the front that someone goes in there and changes something.

Travis in AL
Travis – Who nominates these guys.
M – Jann Wenner. The Hall foundation. Jann Wenner from Rolling Stone magazine, Dave Marsh a NY Rock Critic and a bunch of older rock guys from the 60’s. The museum is different from the Hall of Fame. The induction is in NY and the Museum is in Cleveland. The whole damn thing should be in Memphis.
T – Paula Abdul should go in and kick them all out like on American Idol.
M – To be in, you should be good. Bands like Creedence where you can easily name 5-6 great songs. And 5 more in a minute. Have 1-2 hits, you shouldn’t be in. It shouldn’t be about albums, but maybe 10 great songs. We’ve got a lot of non hall of famers in the hall of fame.
T – What about Pink Floyd. They’ve got more in them than the Bee Gees.
M – Another break

Spending another evening alone. Never be alone again with


Grand Funk Railroad, Cheap Trick, Dr John, the Faces and the Small Faces. The Doobie Brothers, the Stooges, The Replacements, Metallica and all the prog rock bands. And who’s in? The Moonglows. The Staples Singers. Name me 6 Staples Singers songs.

These people are in but they don’t belong. They either aren’t Rock or don’t have enough hits.
This year’s ballot is another with few rock bands. What was the last rock and roll thing Madonna did.
John Cougar I’d put him in below Bruce and near Bob Seeger.
The Ventures. I love them, but they don’t belong.

Alex in IL
Alex – I’m just as mad as you. I think Iggy and the Stooges should be in there.
M – I had them on my list, not sure if I mentioned them. They, like Patti Smith should be in a category that changed the world. They don’t have a lot of hits but everyone who heard those first 3-4 records went out and formed a band.
A – What pisses me off about the Bee Gees is that they were inducted in the first 4-5 years.
M – The Bee Gees suck. They started out as Beatles imitators. If you’re going to stick them in, but in Badfinger, put in Cheap Trick and ELO. They are all imitators.
A – What about Tom Waits. I was only star struck with two people. Chow Young Fat, because I’m a huge kung-fu fan and Tom Waits.
M – who was the first one. Was he a famous martial arts guy. He’s just now breaking into Hollywood. I had a deal to make a movie. The idea was “Citizen Mojo” I didn’t have a script, just a title. The asked who I wanted to direct the movie. I said Tom Waits. I called him up, said he Tom, we met at the Pogues show.  He said “Sometimes they give you a million dollars and they want you to go into the woods and come back with a bear. What happens if I don’t come back with a bear.


Eddie in NY
Eddie – Who’s more Rock and Roll? The Bee Gees and Donna Summer or Mojo Nixon?
M – I am chock full of rock and roll. I’m not a very good singer, guitar player or song writer. But I am an agent of chaos. I get in a studio or a club with a roomful of drunks and I drive them crazy. I always thought we were selling two things. Fuck you and we don’t give a fuck. We give less fuck than Dean Martin.
E – Your influence is showing now with bands like Nashville Pussy or Supersuckers. That’s Mojo music. Maybe a little louder.
M – A lot of people had the same idea. Lets take this energy from the Clash and Sex Pistols and apply it to American music and Chuck Berry and Hank Williams. At any give moment someone has the rock and roll football. Westerberg had that football at one point. I was on a website that was discussing who in the future may be on the list. I wasn’t even on the list. I’m an egomaniac and I look for myself. I didn’t see the Blasters, I saw X and a few guys I know. I saw the Pogues. They’re the only band coming up in the next five years who deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.
E – I think next round should be Mojo, the Pogues and the Replacements.
M – Eddie, you’re a genius. We can only talk about how the president screwed up Iraq so many times. Give a call. I think the people who are in there who don’t deserve it should be jerked out. After they move the museum to Memphis they should kick them out.

Bill in Canada
M – Are you mad I didn’t mention any Canadian bands?
B – There’s so much crap in there. If there isn’t a guitar and someone pounding the drums, it isn’t rock.
M – I don’t think it has to have a guitar, but James Taylor is a singer songwriter of pop and folk music. Joni Mitchell is the same. Listen to Little Richard. You can feel the excitement and danger.
B – I’m with you. Alice Cooper. He was the one to piss off the parents. If they didn’t lock you in the closet for listening to them you’re parents weren’t paying attention.
M – lots of people are good people and good musicians. But the music is boring. It is for housewives to vacuum to. It isn’t rock and roll. If they wanted to call it the music hall of fame and have subsets of pop. But if you’re going to put it under the Rock name.

John in NJ
John – how are you going to feel after Blue Oyster Cult and whatever is in, but they’re putting in Culture Club, Avril Lavigne and Britney Spears? You know it is coming
M – Culture club? Someone mentioned Duran Duran earlier. You’re killing independent Mojo. This is going to kill me. I saw Blue Oyster Cult in Dayton OH in the 70’s with Marshall Tucker Band opening.  I kid you not. I saw it on a Friday night and Monday in my civics class and my ears were still wringing.
J – I saw them at the Stone Pony in Asbury Park NJ.
M – Bands like J Geils and Blue Oyster Cult. Maybe they’re second tier bands. If you aren’t going to put any of them in, that’s fine, but if you’re going to put the Animals in, they you have to put these other bands in.
J – I own every album of the Cult all 20 of them.
M – Patty Smith used to go out with their guitar player.
J – Culture Club and Britney Spears are coming

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John in Pittsburg.
M – if I didn’t love rock and roll, I wouldn’t care.
J – I don’t know what the requirements are, but there are people out there I don’t want in the hall of fame, but they’re in with bands that might be worthy. I don’t want Dennis DeYoung. But Tommy Shaw should be in there. Motorhead will never see it. They did more for bands like Danzig
M – Even the king of those bands, even Metallica isn’t in.
J – I don’t know if they’ve reached the time
M – it is 25 years after you release your first record. I think they’d qualify this year or next year. That Donna Summer or Madonna is utter bullshit.
J – The people responsible should watch “Detroit Rock City” so they can see the crap we were dealing with then and the disco bullshit. You felt like second class citizens and then the hair bands came out. You won’t see those bands going in because it isn’t politically correct.
M – I’m going to make a confession. I actually went to discos in the late 70’s and danced in an attempt to get laid. As much as I hated disco, I liked pussy more.

Chad in Seattle

Chad – I’m pissed off about the Madonna thing. The only rock she has in her is the jiz on her tonsils from blowing rock guys back stage
M – Madonna was good at gauging what the public wanted to hear. She was good at fucking up Guy Ritchie. He made “Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” and “Snatch” two great movies. Now he’s turned into a turd.
C – Is Ozzie in there
M – Black Sabbath is yes.
C – what about Lynyrd Skynyrd
M – Skynyrd is in, yes.
C – those were two who should be in
M – and AC/DC is in there. The last big band from the70’s who isn’t in there is Kiss. Supposedly the guy who runs the place hates Kiss.

Shawn is running the show in NY. Some people call him Shawn, others call him Little Chewbacca. Once he takes his shirt off you can see why.

I wrote this song 10 years ago when the Mamas and Papas got into the Hall of Fame
Plays “Hall of Shame”


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