Who will be our next president? We know it won’t be Bush. But we do know it will be a reaction to Bush. The Republicans could run Jesus Jr and he’d lose to Hitler Jr and he’d lose. It will be a reaction to the war in Iraq.

The next president won’t try to redesign the middle east through the barrel of a gun. The next president will be a reaction to our current president.

Do you like any of the democrats or the republicans? Who would make a good president who isn’t a declared candidate. I’ve got a whole list of people I’d like to see who are better than these guys running.

Who do you hate? Who’s head do you want to tear off?

What qualities does a good president have?

Also how insane is this illogical primary process. It is now a reaction to the old process where there were no primaries and the political operatives determined who would be the next process. We now are reacting to that. If you want to be the next president. You have to be good at raising money. $100-$200 million. You need to hire the smartest people to put the meanest ads on TV.

Then you have the electoral college, winner take all. It’s all based on the concept that we may not be smart enough to have a direct election of the president. It leaves us with a two party system, and they’re all selling us the same turd sandwich. With a two party system, no third party candidate will ever win. You win CA and you get a huge number of votes in the electoral college. You get 49% and don’t win the state, you get nothing. The third party has no chance while there is an electoral college. We need to let the third parties bloom. We need to get rid of the electoral college.

Who wants to be the president. There’s a contradiction. If they’re 35 years old and have had a life of service. If they say they want to be president, they may not be the type of person we want as president. Mitt Romney is the guy who comes to mind. He ain’t anything like us.

My list of people off the grid. The people who are running are the same old group. They offer little new.
Hunter S Thompson – dead
Bill Hicks - dead
Richard Pryor
John Belushi
Nick Tosches - alive
Robert Anton Wilson
Ishmael Reed
Abbie Hoffman
Top Jimmy of Top Jimmy and the Rhythm Pigs
Country Dick Montana
Evel Knievel – Daniel Boone had an outfit, Davey Crockett had an outfit. Even Abraham Lincoln had an outfit.
Rev. Ivan Stang of the Church of the Subgenious
Rudy Ray Moore
Kinky Friedman
John Sales
Jim Brown
Mickey Rourke
Tom Waits
Bill Gates

Maybe we should have someone outside the box.
Let’s talk Democrats first. Hillary, she’s way out front. I don’t like her. We don’t need another Clinton. We don’t need another Bush, we don’t need another Clinton. Her husband was president. Remember when Wallace ran out of terms in AL and put his wife in as a puppet. Hillary’s husband isn’t only the best politician in the last 50 years. And he was already the president. The first woman president should have an architect, or a wrestler or a racecar driver. We don’t need a royal family.
Obama – I like him. He’s got a crazy name and he’s half black. I don’t think he has enough experience. Also that his mom isn’t alive because we can’t refer to her as the Obama Mamma.
John Edwards – I want to like John Edwards. We have a lot in common, but he looks like the 5th Beatle. He’s a lawyer and class action attorney. Lawyers are evil fucks who should be castrated and not allowed to reproduce.
Al Gore – you lost to Bush, from a family of politicians and a Washington insider. You’re part of the problem.
Bill Richardson – a good running mate
Denis Kucinich – he’s getting some mighty fine poon-tang
Joe Biden – He just wants to be Secretary of State
Mike Ravelle – he’s crazy. Bat-shit crazy. On the republican side Ron Paul They should run together and not tell anyone who’s running for president. They both know the war in Iraq is bullshit.

Drew in GA
Drew – I respect what you’ve been saying. We need someone like you to run.
M – I did some stuff as a musician that I don’t think should come out on the nightly news.
D – If Bush can sniff coke off a hookers butt
M – I did it off her titties, but she wasn’t a hooker.
D – What about Giuliani
M – Rudy comes off a little snobby as a new Yorker. He’s running as president of 9/11. He thinks Iraq was a good idea, but also we should invade a bunch of other countries. He’s going to have problems because he’s pro-abortion.
D – They’re all jumping on the bandwagon
M – my problem is that if we are over there, gas should be 75 cents. Anyone you’d nominate?
D – I’m a wrestler, so I’d say Jesse the Body Ventura
M – He ran a 3 way race up in MN
D – yea, I think in 4 years he could throw his hat in and win in
M – Jesse could pin anyone who runs against him
D – We need a strong leader who isn’t going to take shit. Elbow drop them to hell.

Quick Break
Comedy Clip
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Spending another evening alone. Let this be the last with bitchtalk.com



Mike in Vegas
Mike – I’ve been writing in Willie Nelson for years for any election
Mo – Kinky calls Willie the hippie Dali Lama. Most people don’t realize this. The weed Willie has would cripple most people.
Mi – he’d reform the tax system, he’s for the environment and he did smoke dope on the roof of the White House
Mo – he wrote those great songs for years, went through Nashville. You’re a genius. I had this big list and I didn’t have Willie

Ken in OK

K – Hillary is probably going to do the best job because she’s already run the country for 8 years. But I’d put Jerry Jones of the Cowboys
M – You mean Terrell Owens’ puppet. You behind enemy lines. I thought everyone in OK hated everything in TX.

Eric in AZ
E – We need someone who can use the salary that we give them. The only reason they raise that much money to run campaigns is so they can make changes to the system and get rich when they leave.
M – we need someone who’s sat down with a pile of bills in front of them. Clinton, Bush, Kerry? They’ve all had rich parents and grandparents. Bush’s granddad was Prescott. We need a regular person in there. I like John McCain. He seemed a little crazy. But after Bush beat him so bad, he’s become Bush’s lapdog. I liked him when he was good and crazy.

Lets go through the Republicans
Giulani – has no chance because he’ll alienate the republican base in the primaries and then the rest of the US because he’s a war guy

Fred Thompson – he looks good, but he doesn’t really want to be president. He’s an actor. They work a few hours a day. He doesn’t have the fire in his belly.

John McCain – I heard him on sports radio. Seemed normal till the lapdog.

Mitt Romney – he’s the definition of a Lyin’ Cocksucker. He so knows he’s the smartest guy and the most successful guy. He can’t run away from the policies he accepted as Governor of MA. Then there’s the Mormon thing. I have enough problems with old religions. But that’s a new one. He’ll say anything.

Newt Gingrich – he won’t win

Mike Huckabee – I might vote for him if republican

Tom Tancredo – he’s running on the immigration thing. His thing is fuck the Mexicans

Sam Brownback – he’d be the Republican poster boy. The Christian conservative who’s at 2%. He isn’t going anywhere. He has no support.

Duncan Hunter – he’s from San Diego. He’s crazy but not in a good way.

Ron Paul – he’s crazy in a good way. We don’t need another Bush or Clinton.

We need someone who is smart. Someone who won’ t lie us into a war.

Chris in PA
Chris – I work up in the hills, I’ve met Edwards and McCain. I like Edwards. They dems will win because of people being against the war. Hillary and Obama have some good ideas. But people have feelings about a woman or a black guy as president. People will say they’ve evolved. They had issues with Kennedy because he was Catholic. They’ll have issues with Giuliani because he’s an Italian.
M – The one thing that will unite the republicans will be the hate Hillary bandwagon.
C – we pick between a bunch of schmucks. We don’t get to really pick.
M – if it is winner takes all in each state, no one could win with 30% in a bunch of states and get all their votes
C – Ventura won like that
M – Kinky had that in TX. He could have won with 24%.
C – What about McCain. Does he believe what he says. Does he know what comes out of his mouth.
M – a lot of republicans, especially the conservatives have a hard time admitting they’re wrong. Iraq was a reaction to 9/11
C – If Bush had just been honest, even after the fact that we fucked up in Iraq, that they really didn’t have weapons, he would have been ok.

Comedy Break with Wanda Sykes


Scott in LA
Scott – is babbling in the background
M – you’re on Lyin’ Cocksuckers
S – I’m not a cocksucker, but I love it. I think Giuliani is my favorite. I’ve seen him in three locations doing his stump speech, and I think he’s a very good person. I’m not a NY person, but I think he could take our nation in the right direction.
M – how are the republicans going to nominate someone who’s for gun control, divorced twice, is for ga rights and abortion
S – I’ve been divorced twice and like gun control. I think he can do well. But Hillary. She’s horrible and I don’t know much about Obama.

Scott likes Giuliani, but he’s not going to fly through the republican primaries. But he’s president 9/11. He’s trying to use fear and scare us. We’ve been attacked twice in 25 years. We aren’t on our knees.

Chris in MI
Chris – it doesn’t matter. The whole field sucks. We have a two faced woman, not to disrespect women. Obama is like Jell-O. Giuliani is good financially, but not foreign policy. We are a superpower and China is coming up. We don’t have the resources we need. Saudi Arabia has the resources.
M – Why didn’t we invade the Saudi’s. It really doesn’t matter who the president is, the bureaucracy in DC just grinds on. All the president does is put a smiley face or frowny face on all that. Who’d you want.
C – Someone with domestic policies, that Rudy

Bill in MO
B – they’re all Lyin’ Cocksuckers
M – they’re all selling the same bag of shit with different colors on it. It is the people giving these people money. Who’d you pick.
B – Donald Duck. He could whip all their asses.
M – I’m more Warner Bros. I’d want foghorn leghorn.
B – Willie ain’t bad either

Quick break

Some dead air – Z-man where are you?????

Don’t spend another evening alone with bitchtalk.com


Goes through current support levels for candidates.
I don’t like any of those guys. I’d like to but I don’t

Chris in MD
Chris – should be Hillary.
M – Hillary?
C – yea, but If I had my choice I’d pick Judge Judy. She tells it like it is
M – years ago I wrote a song about Judge Judy (plays a clip of what’s up Judge Judy’s Ass)

Wrong way in TN

W – Obama, he seems like a real person. But it will probably be Hillary, she’s smart and tough. Maybe we should elect someone who isn’t a dumbass.
M – Maybe we should elect someone who didn’t have anything to do with 9/11. Someone who doesn’t want to get rid of habeas corpus.
W – I think I’d put Neil Young in there
M – he’s Canadian, not sure he could do it
W – If I was in charge, I’d make it happen
M what song would you have him play
W – This notes for you
M – how about rockin’ in the free world

I think Foghorn Leghorn would be a good president. I know Fred Thompson thinks he’s Foghorn, but he isn’t.

If you have a job that’s repressive, a wife that’s repressive. Remember every Thursday night there’s this show here. Lyin’ Cocksuckers.

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