Larry Craig edition.

 

Anything happen in the news this week?
Mojo had some other titles before he started. He took it from a Bill Hicks comedy bit. Where he said everybody knows that policiticans are all lyin’ cocksuckers.

Everyone knows that politicians will lie to your face, and everyone knows that they’re cocksuckers and will take money from anyone. So Lyin’ Cocksuckers was just sort of a metaphor until yesterday. Until US Senator Larry Craig from Idaho pleaded guilty to cruising for cock, that’s right looking for a dick. He was fined for lewd behavior for lewd behavior in a Minneapolis restroom.

We have a politician who literally was lying that he did it and was literally looking to suck a dick. Seems the airport has somewhat taken the place of the bus station as a place to troll for dick in the bathrooms. So he’s a cocksucker or at minimum a cocksuckee. Sometimes the ranting and raving pays off and you get a gift. Not is he a true lying cocksucker, but he’s a right wing, conservative, family values lying cocksucker. It is unbelieveable. Who the ho? Idaho.

How come it is always these right wing conservative Christian family value guys who always get caught sucking dick? Is it the pressure from the religion. We’re talking about senator cockalot from Idaho.

Remember Ted Haggert. What about Mark Foley? All right wing conservative republicans. They all hate the gays until they’re sucking their dick.

There was an undercover officer in the airport waiting for someone to solicit him. All of a sudden someone starts playing footsie with him, then he starts running his hand, then both hands underneath the partition. Then the cop pulls out his badge and says hey buddy, lets go down to the police station. Mojo has the interview between the arresting officer and Sen. Craig right after he was arrested in the bathroom.

First off Sen Craig said the officer was soliciting him. How would he know that. When Mojo takes a shit in an airport bathroom, noooobody is getting close to him. And he isn’t looking for any coded signs that someone is looking to suck his dick. The senator then said he wasn’t gay and that this is entrapment. Then he said he has a “wide stance” and can’t recall why his hand was under the stall. Said he’s a respectable person and doesn’t do those things. Then he says that the cop saw something that didn’t happen and whipped out his card that he’s a conservative senator. He’s now already pleaded guilty. He’s living up to the name of the show. He keeps saying he isn’t gay, even in his PR release. He never said he didn’t like sucking dick or meeting guys in anonymous places and sucking their dick. He just isn’t gay. He thinks gay is some outwardly swishy guy with an agenda.  Craig is the biggest hypocrite in the world.

In his PR release he says he did nothing wrong at the airport, why then did he plead guilty? He regrets his decision to plead guilty. He says he didn’t seek council.

Not only has a conservative republican cruise for cock in an airport restroom, but he did so while the biggest newspaper in his home state has been working on an investigation to expose his secret gay life. He’s putting the “Lying” in lyin’ cocksucker.

He says he overreacted because of the stress of the Idaho Statesman report. Somehow it is the newspaper’s fault. This happened in June and he plead guilty in early august. It is now the end of august. If he’d gotten a lawyer right away it would have been just as bad. He was cruising for someone to suck his dick.

Mojo quotes the National Review, a place he usually doesn’t quote. The NR thinks it is suspect that he pleaded guilty and is acting like the trial is coming up, but he already plead guilty.

Mojo doesn’t care if you’re gay. That’s just the way you’re wired. What adults do between themselves is their own business. Mojo is against molesting children. He is against that this guy has been anti-gay for the last 20 years on the floor of the house and Senate.  Why is it always the ones who wrap themselves in the flag of family values.

Anyone who thinks sex is wrong or nasty, their mind is all fucked up. Sex is a natural bodily function. Know what the two greatest family values are? Naked people screwing. You don’t get any families without that.

To the phones:
Rick in ID
Rick – The more often these guys get wrapped up in this, the more I think it is karma or something. But how pissed off does the sergeant have to be for his job to be sitting around in a bathroom waiting for guys to pick him up and ask him to suck his dick.
Mojo – the only other choice was the motorcycle cop in January in Minneapolis. You’re desk seargent must be mighting mad at you.

Rick – What kind of Karma must the cop have brought on himself.

Comedy Clip with Dane Cook.
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Samantha in KS
Samantha – The liberals made him do it. This is a great platform for the republicans to use to claim that we should be focusing on the Iraqi war instead of bringing this up in the media.
Mojo – I don’t think the liberals made him plead guilty. Maybe it was the newspaper that made him plead guilty to make it go away.  A regular guy could just pay the fine and no one would know about it. But because he’s a senator people find out about it, and then it’s a little hypocritical.
Samantha- maybe he can just do a confession to the American people and then figures all his wrongdoings will be forgiven, maybe that’s what this guy thinks.

In the gay homosexual subculture, there are and were places where you could just stick your dick in a hole in the wall and guys would just suck it. There are places where with certain signals after everyone clears out of the bathroom, people will just get toghther for sex. How come this is so easy, where you don’t have to pay for dinner or go to a movie. You can just show up with a dick and someone will start sucking on it. Mojo can see why some people would just like that.

Led in Seattle.
Led – the reason they get caught doing this is because of self-loathing. Let he who is without sin throw the first bone. The exact charge is that he offered the cop $20 to suck the cop’s dick. So not only is he a lyin’  cocksucker , he’s a lyin’ copsucker.

Mojo – the whole thing is unbelieveable, that Mojo has a show and there are senators getting caught and pleading guilty to it.

Joe in FL
Mojo – if the cop had responded, would they have just started going at it in the stall
Joe – I think this is just someone else’s business. It is a little serindipidous.
Mojo – had he been in a hotel room doing this with big dick Johnson it would have been one thing and all private. But he got caught soliciting and he is a public official who has made many votes against the rights of gay folks.
Joe – I think this is a little funny, that the same week this happens, Speedy Gonzalez is leaving the Attorney General position.
Mojo – it is odd. Mojo was going to talk about Gonzalez and has a whole stack of papers about Gonzalez. Gonzalez did this all to himself. He goes in front of congress and can’t recall a thing. Blames the democrats for politicizing the justice department, when it was he who did it. I think Jon Stewart said it best, “Why was the lying man in charge of the laws?”
Joe- The democrats give up their ground on warrantless wiretapping and all these republicans are jumping ship. The democrats should get a little more out of it.

Mark in AL
Mark – has heard Mojo and other liberals saying Craig was a hypocrite because of all his anti-gay voting. But he was doing his job because he was put there by conservatives and republicans to do that. His own personal beliefs may be different, but those aren’t why he was sent there.
Mojo – he’s lying to the people of Idaho. He’s lying about his life.
Mark – Do you think everyone who has a secret in their closet should speak up
Mojo – yes, everyone who runs for public office and votes on issues effecting them, yes they need to step up. We are talking about a Senator here.
Mark – what were you saying about the Clinton matter. Were you saying he should step up, or that it was a personal matter?
Mojo -  Bill Clinton never said he was against blow jobs. I’ve had my dick sucked by a 21-year old girl and it is a hell of a thing. Clinton is a lying weasel who tried to get out of it. He never should have gotten that girl in his office, he should have gotten a girl down the street. People screw people who are near. You don’t screw the girl across town you never see. You screw the girl who brings you pizza every night.

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Comedy break with Jeff Foxworthy.
Sirius Add
Mojo is happy. A politician is lying about cock sucking.

During the Clinton thing, Craig said Clinton was a dirty, nasty, bad boy. The script is always the same. They always come out and say they aren’t gay, then someone comes out and says, boy you sure did suck my dick good. Or you didn’t say you weren’t gay when you were asking to suck my dick.

Brandon in ID
Brandon is from Idaho Falls ID. These Mormon’s are out of control.
Mojo – he was Romney’s butt boy until Romney kicked him to the corner
Brandon – shouldn’t he have 7 wives
Mojo – he should have gotten one of those 7 wives to suck his dick. What’s the difference between a cult and a religion. About 500 years and a really good PR agent. 

Mike in Alberta
Mojo – is it cold up there yet
Mike – yea, it is getting to just above freezing at night. Is it illegal for a dude to ask a chick for sex?
Mojo – where this guy went wrong is that he was invading the other guys’ space in the restroom. If he’d been in a bar and said I’m a homosexual and I think you are too, let’s go back to a hotel and suck each other‘s dicks, that would be ok.

It was 10 years ago that Princess Di died in that car crash. There’s going to be all sorts of reports on TV. There’s going to be a whole frenzy this weekend. I want you to remember that I wrong a song telling the truth. She was nothing but a drunk divorced floozy.

Plays drunk divorced floozy.

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Russell in Las Vegas
Russell – you need to rewrite Louisiana Liplock sock.
Mojo – yea, was thinking of what song to play this week, and it had to be the princess Di song. I bet that senator only gets his dick sucked, so in his mind he isn’t gay.
Russell – out west, if you aren’t on the bottom, you aren’t gay
Mojo – if you are the pitcher, you aren’t gay, but if you have the tools of ignorance on, well, then you’re gay.
Russell – He who screams fag the loudest is always the one sucking dick in the closet.
Mojo – for some reason they think they can’t come out. It is 2007, why can’t they just come out in the open.
Russell – if Adam and Steve want to get married, how is it taking away from my benefits.
Mojo – there’s a real simple solution, if you don’t like gay marriage, don’t marry someone the same sex as you. You want to save the institution of marriage, make divorce a whole lot harder and maybe stop alcoholism and wife beating. That may save marriage a little bit.
Russell – I’m a truck driver, and there’s a lot of macho truck drivers, but there’s a lot of lying cocksuckers out here that are the same.
Mojo – a bunch of guys out away from home alone for a long time. Stuff can happen.

Mike in MO
Mike – I’m out here enjoying the humor. If he wants to suck cock, that’s his business.
Mojo – he could have just taken him to the bathroom.
Mike – if he’d gotten up in front of the Idaho people and said, I’m a cocksucker but I’m not going to vote for any gay rights bills in the Senate, that would be one thing.
Mojo – I agree. And the thing is, this is a trend. Mark Foley etc. All of them are conservative Christian values guys who get caught sucking dick.  My believes are way off the scale over where the Anarchists and Libertarians come together. I just want people to leave me alone. We need someone as president who has sat down in front of a stack of bills and said, “I don’t know how the hell I’m going to pay all of these.”
Mike – Put Ricky Rudd in the Whitehouse.

Howie Mandel Clip

 

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